To the Grind

Ah the weekdays. This is payment for a fun weekend. The hard weekdays make me appreciate the weekends so much more. I really enjoy my time with my friends, being with my friends reminds me of being home. The time I spend with my friends also lets me be me, I don't get much time for that now a days. It is a welcome relief and really lets me break out of my rut from that week. That is about all what I have for the past week. I have been focused on my upcoming vacation. By the way, for all of my readers and what not, I will be away for two weeks. These two weeks I plan to take a break from everything. That means I will not be writing in my blogs. I do want to take the time to thank those who actually read my blogs on a semi-regular basis. I will miss writing, but I will keep a pen an pad handy. I will log into that once in a while. The logs that I choose will make it into my blogs. For today's exercise I will do something that I do best, talk about food.

Fried Chicken
It seems to be lightly fried. The coloring of the chicken is a light brown almost golden color. The skin looks light and crispy. I could feel the heat still rising off of the chicken itself, almost as if it was just taken out of the fryer. There is an aroma that emanates from the chicken itself. The smell seems to speak as if welcoming you to devour it in one smooth motion. I am tempted to eat it, but how it looks and smells, it almost seems to be a shame to eat it at all. I take a step back from the chicken and take a deep breath it. This breath takes me into memories of childhood and eating chicken with my family. I eventually take a bite into the meat. The first thing bitten into is a combination of meat and skin. The skin crackles sounds like a melody of random sounds that keeps on inviting you to eat more. Then the taste of the meat hits my tongue. Just like the skin, instead of sound it is flavor. The combination of sauce and meat create a sensation of hot, sweet, sour and several other flavors that enhance the experience. The meat tastes of a musical symphony, it is a delicate balance that seems to have been done almost on purpose. In an instant I am consumed by an urge to eat this tender morsel of meat. Then in that same instance I have eaten it all. It was an experience, almost religious in nature.



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The End



The best food is usually eaten fast for your soul.



-Cezar-

To the Grind

What's in a name?

Ok. The past week has been kind of nutty. Summer sessions have started for me. I have been teaching the kids by myself in the English room. This is really the first time that I have the opportunity to teach the kids all by myself. It has been a fun experience. I really need to find ways to make the class more interesting and fun for the kids. The best part of the days is when it's over. My day ends at or around 12:10 everyday. That gives me a lot of time for and to myself. I have taken the opportunity to connect with my inner beach bum. I have been sleeping and swimming at the beach for nearly a week. The only issue that has come to my attention is the various sea life that shares the waters. It has become very clear to me that there are jellyfish in the water. I have come close on several occasions to making contact. I have no desire whatsoever to touch one. So recently my desire to jump into the water has been defeated by my fear of being stung. This phobia has become quite a problem for me. I truly enjoy the water, but now I do not enjoy it as much. When I am in the water I try to keep aware of my surroundings and that takes away from my relaxing time. I need to find an alternative to the beach now.

Now for my weekend recap.


Friday:

I get out of work around 12:10. I decided to go to the beach for a couple of hours before I go into Jeonju. I stayed on the beach until around 4pm ish. The bus ride was nothing special, it was a regular 2 hour ride into town. I get into Stan's place pretty early, he left me his keys so I can get into his apartment. He eventually gets in and we wind down and relax a bit. We head out to a spa to meet up with a couple of friends. Ruveena and Kevin had already made it to the spa. We go and grab some time at the saunas and grab some food. We were out until about 12am ish. The only problem was I was feeling a little sick. My throat was killing me and I had a viscous cough that really wasn't going away at all.

Saturday:

My sickness still hadn't gone away. There was going to be a hash this day and I wasn't up for it. I had found out the night before that this would be my 5th hash and I was to be named this day IF I were to hash. I was determined to do this hash in order to acquire my name. The day started off ok. There were a couple of clouds in the sky, it felt somewhat ominous. I shrug it off because my concerns were for conquering my sickness. My throat was so much in pain that I could not drink or eat. I spent most to all of the morning drinking tea or trying to sooth my aches. I had high hopes for that day because a group of Hashers from Seoul were coming down for the day for this particular hash. These hopes of the hash quickly got dashed because the rain had come in and it was angry. The Hammer had planned to set a dead trail, but the rain had other plans. In true hasher spirit we decided to go on with the hash itself. We all lucked out because the rain gave way for us to have trail. One of the hashers from jeonju volunteered to set trail while we follow 20 min behind. His name is Flash Me Nicely. So Flash ran the trail, but it was his first real trail that he set. We all followed trail and got lost. We got so lost, that at mid point we decided to get off trail and go to the end point directly. There were a couple of people that made it through the hash fully. By the time they made it to the bar most of us were already half into the tank. They eventually catch up to us. We all start talking and laughing. Sharing stories and jokes about each other. Start bonding as all hashers do. Some catch wind about my naming ceremony so they start probing me about my life and what not. I answer all questions honestly. Eventually the hash circle forms. All the traditions are taken place, but the management asked us to pick up the pace. The Virgins are dispatched quickly and what not. The main event was my naming. More questions about me were asked, mostly embarrassing ones. One girl was telling a story how she constantly drank a drink called "ceasar" in Canada and how good it was. In reply to make it funny, I said I go down easy. All laugh out loud. We continue with throwing names out. Eventually we finish and review all the names and then vote. At the end it came down to only one name "Goes Down Easy". I couldn't of asked for a better name. We all continue the night with more debauchery. There was a live show with a rock bands from different areas. Some hashers stay and others leave for more. We all end up going to clubs and parting for most of the night. We end up out until about 4am.

Sunday:

Southside wanted to do a hash. They started trail around the express bus terminal in Jeonju. Some go and some stay. I came to say my farethewells to the hashers. It was a nice treat for me to see them in the area and for me to hash with them. I just planned to say hi and bye, but got pulled into some bsing and what not. I spent about and hour or so just talking and having a good time with them. I eventually depart from their company. Good times were to be had by all.


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The End


Slow and steady wins the race.


-Cezar-

What's in a name?

Slow down

Ok. I do apologize. I am making an effort to post on a daily basis. This is my new challenge to me in to trying to describe things better. I had a conversation last weekend with another tormented writer. I told her about my feelings about writing and all the insecurities that I go through. She re-assured me that she goes through the same things, which really gave me hope that I was not alone. So this is me on my efforts in improving my skills. I also want to comment on my last blog. I feel that I could have done better. I am really just trying to find my voice. I think my style right now is organic. I feel more comfortable trying to bring life into simple words. My last blog felt too cold. I guess that is one of the challenges in front of me. I will try to find a middle ground right now, until I figure it out. In the next couple of blogs, I will try to describe things that are cold and try to bring warmth to it. I will also try to bring more life into something that has meaning to it as well. I do hope you hang in there on my journey of finding my voice and style. I would love to hear from anyone reading it. I would like any suggestions. I will also make more of an effort to read more. I think if I read more I would be able to find myself. The only issue I find with that line of thought is that I might take on someone's voice and not develop my own. I don't want to be a carbon copy of a great writer. I just want to write well enough so that I don't seem like too much of a fool. On a last note. I find it deeply ironic that I am not a reader, nor do I really comprehend all the rules of writing well, but I find myself drawn to the stage of writing.


The Caress

It is a hovering sensation. A simple touch. An exchange of sensations between two parties. You feel it as if it is there and not there at the same time. It is a hand or a finger that gives a gesture of there and not there. Moved in patterns and directions that give a sense of air. The air that can only be felt like a breeze coming in from the beach or silk cloth on the skin. This feeling is shared, as if the moment were to never really end. It is the presence of the touch that is not really there. It is gentle so gentle in fact that one could not be really be sure that it is there.



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The End


"Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda


-Cezar-

Slow down

The Simple Things

Here we are again. I think I will try to stay on this path of developing my ability to describe things. I have been reflecting on what it means for me as a writer. I believe at the end of the day this tool will help get you, as the reader, more involved in the story. If I were to just state that the object was a leaf or something like that, you will not be as engaged. The stories that I weave need to have details. I think I have to tell you about the object or situations as if you have never seen or heard of them before. I believe these exercises in description will lead me to a new path in my writing. I hope all of you enjoy reading it as much as I write it. On a side note. Something interesting occurred to me when I was reflecting on my style of writing and how to develop it. I realized that when I write I am on the same journey as you. I write as the stories develop. I have no forethought about what is going to happen in a particular story. I have a general idea on where the story will end, but how it progresses is a mystery to me. That is why I believe being as descriptive as possible will help in the stories I tell.


Breath
The diaphragm expands. Air is funneled into tubes into the lungs. The Lungs expand and exchange what is necessary. The waste is funneled back into the same tubes and out. All of this in a matter of seconds, it is simple as A and B. We breath in and out. An exchange of particles of molecules and atoms so minute that no human eye can perceive it. This exchange has been dealt many times in our lives. The true events of this "simple" exchange cannot be so easily described by words as small as the very molecules themselves. We think it as only an exchange. This event happens because it needs to happen. It is more of an age old bargain that was negotiated many Millennia ago. This act of breathing just as complex to comprehend as well as explain. We all enjoy this act of breathing from moment to moment. The systems that support the lungs can only really be described as a complex highway intertwined and interdependent. The nerves that shoot impulses to the muscles and the veins and arteries that give them blood. Each has a roll; and each cannot exist without the other. The breath that we take for granted is really seems like a purposeful miracle. This simple act of a breath is not so simple indeed. It is more simply taken for granted, much like anything else in the world. The breath is a gift that, for some, is easily taken.



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The End



The past has happened. The future is unknown. Today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.


-Cezar-

The Simple Things

so you say

In an effort to improve my writing skills I will be taking some time to practice describing objects and or events. I hope that this will help me in the future. Let us see how it goes. Today I will try to talk about a leaf.

The Gentle Leaves
There grows a tree in a forest. This tree is not young nor is it old. It's roots are deeply intertwined and dug into the ground. It's bark is worn from bearing both strong winds and rain. It's has survived and thrived for many years. This tree grows. The limbs and branches are outstretched as if trying to embrace the sun and the sky itself. These branches thrive with the tree. As if by some miracle small buds spring forth from the branches of the branches. This is nothing new for the tree. It has been through many seasons and has cycled through this before. The days have passed into weeks. The buds are starting to bloom. The buds blossom into leaves. Each leaf can only be described as only as green. It's true colors and beauty cannot be so easily grasped. The leaves themselves, much like the tree, grow towards the sky and sun as if trying to consume it. The leaves are like little trees. Each one is rooted into the tree and they have small branch like extensions that reach upwards. Their roots are strong, like the tree. The winds blow and thrash the leaves about, but the leaves stay rooted. The winds howl in anger and frustration at it's inability to remove the leaves from the branches. The leaves themselves provide cover to those who seek it's shelter from the rain or sun. They possess a certain softness almost gentle quality.



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The End



Speak as if only to say something.



-Cezar-

so you say

swing away

This weekend was a nice relief from the past weekends. I have had such a packed july that it has been just a little crazy. I found myself back n Jeonju for the weekend. Friday night I went out with Stan and a couple of his students for dinner. We ate at a local Japanese restaurant which had some really great food to offer. We were eating and drinking for most of the night. After eating at the restaurant, they wanted to change venues to a local art gallery where we can continue drinking. Most of the night was spent trying to create an English name for the two Korean men that were with us. So we spent the night laughing and talking about potential names for both of them. Eventually we all came to the agreement of Kevin and Louis. In turn, we asked them for Korean names. After some thought and more laughing and talking, I was named chiho, loosely translated as "drunken tiger". I instantly fell in love with the name. The whole night everyone kept referring to me as Chiho and we would all laugh about it. We were out until about 2am laughing and drinking with the two gentlemen. The best part of the whole situation was the Korean men were actively making jokes in English. The type of jokes that you would only expect from native speaking English people. That's what really made the night a little more fun. The fact that I was being made fun of and vice versa by Koreans.

Saturday rolls around. I was still a little bit groggy from the night before. Stan and I had an appointment with another one of his students. We were to go golfing at a local area. It had been some time since I picked up any type of golf set, so I was naturally both excited and nervous. We didn't have time to go to the golf range before the game so I had to play with borrowed clubs and extremely rust in my golf joints. We get to the field and I naturally don't want to go first. I wait a little to swing the club. I don't know what came over me. I think I was channeling Tiger Woods. I picked up the driver. I set the form. I bring back the club and swing away. All I heard was a beautiful *TING* and saw my ball go straight and onto the green. And if you believe that really happened then I feel bad for you. What really happened was I took a swing and the ball went to the extreme left only to be saved by the net. I laughed it off, but really wanted to throw my clubs in anger. The rest of the game basically had the same tone. I spent more time in the rough then the gardeners. It was all in good fun though, I was able to pick up the clubs again. I didn't realize how much I missed being on the field playing golf. After golf was done, we all went out to lunch. We talked about the game and pretty much anything and everything. We all eventually part ways. Stan and I were so tired that taking a nap was in order. After a quick nap, a couple of friends called us to go out. So we go out to the local shopping area to meet up. We walked around tried to do some shopping and what not. Eventually ran into another set of people and some of them joined us in our night of fun. We went to a local watering hole for foreigners and then to what Koreans call a night club. We were out until about 3am.

Sunday was a little uneventful. Stan went out for more golfing fun, I had to try to find something to buy. So some of the people from the night before met up with me and we went searching for my items. During our search, we sat and ate at a local Filipino food restaurant. I introduced them to what was being served and what not. At the end of the time in the area, I didn't find what I was looking for. So I headed off to church then after church I went home like usual.


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The End


You won't have it when you want it, but you will have it when you need it.

-Cezar-

swing away

Just a bit lazy

July has been a roller coaster for me. I feel bad hat I haven't had a chance to really set myself up in the blogs like in the past months. I have been on such an emotional and physical roller coaster. I understand that this is a blog and I should treat this as a diary of sorts. There in lays the problem. I can not get to this thing as much as I want too. This blog will be more about how I feel about things. So bear with me, I need to get things off my chest. If you feel that you do not need to read more then stop here and wait for my next blog, when ever that may be.

Picking up the pieces:

I have noticed in my life that I omit a certain aura. People are generally attracted to me because of who I am and how I present myself. They stick around because I create a comfortable environment. That is all well and good. The more friends the better. The problem that I see and feel with that is I don't get the girl. The problem with being everyone's friend is that I get to be everyone's friend. In my opinion that really sucks, I get to be benched by the girls that I am attracted too. It's like hey your cute and funny and awesome but I don't want to date you EVER. This is an issue that I have been struggling with for a very long time. I have been raised in a certain way to treat people, especially women, in a certain way. No one told me that road leads me to not having someone special. Many people tell me to wait. Wait for the right girl and she will find you. I am seriously done with waiting. I have grown tired of waiting for the girl to date all the jerks and finally find out that I am the guy for her. This is not like the movies where the good guy gets the girl. I am constantly the nice guy that gets put on the sideline. Then I really want to change who I am into the guy that women are attracted too. Then again I cannot untrain 26 years of how to treat a woman. Ok. I'm done with that line of thought. The reason why I went with that thought was recently I was attracted to a woman. I thought she was attracted to me. I have gathered enough evidence and by now I have a good sense when it happens, she sees me as a good friend.


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The End


Your heart will lead you to the right place and the right time.



-Cezar-

Just a bit lazy