How Do You Say Goodbye?

I had to re-write the opening sentence like 10 times now. How am I supposed to write my opening for saying Goodbye? I have been considering this blog for quite some time now. This will be my very last one. There are so many words that I want to use to truly describe my experiences here in South Korea.

So here I go. One year ago I came to this country not knowing what to expect. The only thing I knew was that I was going to teach or try to teach English to people. There was no Honeymoon period for me. Korea started off very rocky. I had experienced things that I would not wish upon any new-comers here. I lied too and swindled into my position. I was caught in a catch 22 of life. I could not do anything about it. I had to make the difficult decision of staying in a bad situation. My feelings of course was to run home with my tail between my legs but with encouragement from my family I stayed.

You should know my story by now. I will tell you what I have learned on this journey.

Personal growth is something that I did not expect to happen. I also didn't expect to learn so much about myself. I found a long lost passion of mine and now I really want to nurture it. I found that people truly enjoy being around me. I found that I enjoy time to myself and with good friends. There were many times here in Gyeokpo that I went for a walk and really dove into my mind. I started to really meditate on me and my life. Though this place was lonely, I was able to use that to gain access to myself. People tell me that they admire me for staying in Gyeokpo for so long. They say that they would not be able to do what I do. I respond to them that they would be surprised at themselves. I believe that anyone has the same capacity to do what I did. They just have to have the same type of mindset or the will to stay. This place is hard to live in, especially alone, but one learns how to cope. This place had its ups and downs, but truly I will miss it. I had an opportunity to experience Korea in a different way. Most guest english teachers experience Korea with a hint of Western culture. I was able to experience Korea before all of that. Truly I think that was more valuable than anything else.

The culture itself is an oxymoron. I don't want to speak out of term nor talk down to another culture, but this is how I feel. This is a rich culture. They pride themselves on it, which is a good thing. This pride sometimes turns into arrogance. Some to many of the people seem to be shortsighted. Much of the fashion and thinking is in some type of box or cookie cutter. The good thing is that there is a small constituent that is trying to assert their independence. I have often compared their culture in terms of time. As of right now I believe they are going through the 1950 generation to the 1960s generation. The old guard is trying to maintain control and tradition while the youth is trying to break that mold. As far as being a foreigner goes, its a little bit of a up hill battle. Their people are still not used to seeing different faces. I was blessed with being able to blend into the society so that no one really bothered me too much. My friends on the other hand were treated as if they were Rock stars. That is a great feeling I would assume, but it would be quite frustrating after a while. Sometimes you just want to be left alone. There is also this underlying feeling of racism here in South Korea. There is a point in ones life where you know when you are being stared at for the wrong reasons. There also has been times where it was more obvious than that. I do understand where it comes from though. There are foreigners that give the good ones a bad name. So its no ones fault. All in all they are normal people.

To sum all of this up. My experience here wasn't great nor was it horrible. This adventure was like a normal year for me, just in a different country. I guess in the end all I can really say is thank you. Thank you to all the great people that I have met and befriended. Thanks to all the children that made teaching a pleasure. Thanks to all the Koreans that made this place feel comfortable. Thanks to my family that supported me with their words and love from home. Last but not least Thank you Gyeokpo for showing me that there is more to me than meets the eye.


___


The End


All roads must come to an end.


-Cezar-

How Do You Say Goodbye?

Sea Sick

It seems to me that every time that I go anywhere for a long time I get sick before hand. About 2 weeks ago I started preparations for my departure of South Korea. My contract is ending at the end of the month; so I decided to go to Japan. Japan had been on my top to go places in my life for a very long time. So my friends and I buy tickets to go. I was super excited for it. I am a big fan of almost anything Japanese.

A couple days before I left for Japan I had started going out with my co-workers. I wanted to treat them to dinner and what not, it was great. We sat and ate a meal and drank some beers. Then they in turn decided to take me out 2 days in a row for food. They fed me raw fish. I was not surprised at the food. I had been eating it for quite some time now, and I actually enjoyed it. I had no suspicion or fear of the food whatsoever. I was wrong. Two days before my flight it all caught up to me. I spent at least 24 hours near my bathroom. It had been the worst feeling ever.

I did not want to miss my opportunity to go to Japan. So I proceeded with my plan. The day before my flight I went to Jeonju. I had to run a whole list of errands. I kept on doing what I needed to do with my sickness. I powered through the day til about mid afternoon. Once I got to my friends place, I needed to sleep. So I did, I slept until I had to leave for the airport. I just wished that my sickness would go away by that time.

5:00am rolls around. My bus was supposed to leave at 5:30 am; so I woke up and found myself in a better mood. I had gotten over my sickness. So I hopped out of bed and made my way to the bus terminal. I figured that because of the weather and of the holiday that there would be traffic going to the airport. My flight wouldn't leave until 2:30pm. The bus usually takes about 3 or so hours to get there. With my luck, there was no traffic at all. I got there super fast. I ended up getting to the airport 4 hours before my flight.

So I sat in the airport waiting for my counter to open up. I wanted to eat, but I was still a bit sick. So I could only do fluids. I sat and waited until my counter opened. Luckily I ran into my friends. They were leaving on an earlier flight then I was. I had a quick conversation with them and what not. my counter opened up not too long after that. I breeze through security and everything. I sat there just waiting for my flight to take off.

I will continue the story of Japan soon.


___


The End


You are what you eat


-Cezar-

Sea Sick

Outerspace

The past three weeks I have had a semi vacation. The schools in which I work at told me that I did not have to come into work. This was an awesome idea. I would be able to have all the free time in the world to work on my projects and prepare for my home coming.

I wish that were the case. The past three weeks have been nothing but boring. I really wanted the time off so that I would be able to do things. Ironically because I wasn't working; my mind shut off and I was not as productive. The whole of my days had me laying in bed waiting for certain markers. I would wake up cook and eat breakfast then wait for lunch then wait for dinner. This was what I have been doing for the past three weeks.

I had to struggle everyday just to find motivation to go and do small projects. Small projects such as food shopping and daily exercise. The temptation to stay in bed all day was too strong.

Even though it is my dream to one day be able to do that everyday; I regret ever doing it. The stagnant lifestyle made my mind dull. I found myself too lazy to do even the simplest of tasks.

Today I had to come into work. Even though I do not like it here at work. The job keeps my mind active. It's fun how things like this work out. You try to fight most of your life not to work. Then you find out that work actually keeps you thriving. I had to teach only 1 class today and already I feel my energy levels higher then usual.

So my children gather around. The lesson of today is to keep your mind and body active. Living a stagnant life will not lead to a good life. You must find something to motivate and drive you to your goals. Wishing upon a star isn't enough kiddies. You have to go out there and get it yourself.


___


The End


If there isn't an opportunity, make one.


-Cezar-

Outerspace

Slippery When Wet

This past weekend was interesting. A group of my friends decided to go to a mountain for some fun in the snow. They wanted to go skiing. I really only went skiing once in my life, so the opportunity to go excited me. I was also excited to go skiing in South Korea; an opportunity that many people do not have the chance of taking. The trip was to take place on Saturday around 7am. The night before we all were guessing on how far away the resort was, best guess was an hour and thirty minutes. So we board the bus around 6:45 am along with several other people from Iksan. The bus was full of people and seating was very slim. We all eventually find seats.

It was 7am and I was very much fatigued. I wanted to sleep but sleeping on a bus for me is nearly impossible especially when I am uncomfortable. So I had no choice but to stay awake and make conversation with people that I didn't know too well. I had a couple of interesting and funny conversations with people that kept me entertained for a while. The temperature outside was very cold so the bus driver decided to increase the temperature in the bus. This was a nice relief for me, for the first half hour. The bus driver put it on max heat. There were issues with that.

First the traffic was so horrible that it turned a one and a half hour trip into a 3 hour trip.

Second, it was so hot in the bus that at one point everyone started to take off all their layers to keep cool. We all had to suffer the temperature in the bus until about 10 am.

The bus eventually arrives at Muju resort. We were all excited. We were finally here to ski and we can get out of the hot bus and into the cold weather. Once I stepped out of the bus I was relieved. Then shortly after, like 1 minute, I wanted to retreat back into the bus because of the cold weather.

Prior to leaving the bus we were all asked what we wanted to do. I assumed that there will only be skiing at the resort, but they also offered snowboarding. They offered snowboarding only at a slightly higher price then skiing. I was amazed and excited. I have never snowboarded in my life and doing it in Korea really sounded like a good idea.

So I get off the bus after the 3 hour bus ride. I have my ticket in hand. The group was lead into the resort where we can pick up our stuff. We all fall in a huge line. Apparently everyone in South Korea decided to come that day to go snowboarding or skiing. So we all get in line. Eventually we get in front and are able to get the equipment.

After we got our equipment and accessories, we hunted for lockers. That took about another half hour to find an empty locker. So we didn't really get to go into the snow until about 11:45ish.

All the experienced people decided to go ahead. I lost track of the whole group all together. So I walked to the bunny hill and decided to teach myself. So there I was snowboard on hand and no clue on how to use it.

It took me 10 min to figure out how the straps worked. Then it took me about 3 hours to figure out how to stand up. After that turning and stopping was simple. Even though I figured out how to do all that stuff my confidence was not high enough to tackle the mountains. So I stuck around the bunny hills and the smaller hills to practice not falling on my face and what not. So I ended up spending all the day on my face or the other end.

It was a fun day but I ended up breaking my sunglasses that I had in my pocket. No fun.

So we return our equipment. We were waiting for some other people to come meet us. We were supposed to get to the bus around 4:20 and it was supposed to leave at 4:30. The majority of the people made it to the bus. We tried to stall the bus as much as possible, but we voted to leave. The people that were missing ended up at the top of the mountain still skiing. So we wished them luck and the bus went on it's way.

The bus trip was relatively short in comparison to going to the place. We got back before I knew it. My friends and I decided to rest for an hour then go out. We get some food and then go out. We made jokes about the people we left behind. Eventually they meet up with us. We gathered to hear their story on how they got back.


___


The End


If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.


-Cezar-

Slippery When Wet

This isn't Kansas at all!

The last time we left our Filipino hero he was on the airplane.

I was super excited. I was ready to put the past couple of hours behind me. I had only 4 hours until I arrived in the Philippines. I really couldn't sleep so I worked on my book. I put more pages and added more stories to the book. The next thing I knew I was in the Philippines already. I expected the Philippines to be hot, but not too hot. I thought I could survive for a few moments with my jacket on. I was dead wrong. The moment I stepped off the plane I started sweating. I started to undress myself, by the time I reached the baggage claim I only had a shirt and jeans on.

I quickly exchanged my money and bought a sim card for the Philippines. I was greeted by some family friends at the arrival department. We take off to their house. The details of my Christmas and the first few days in the Philippines. The one detail that one would need to know is that the weather was amazing. Beautiful blue skies and a warm to hot breeze on my face everyday.

I hung out with new friends and old ones for Christmas day. I traveled around town and really just enjoyed myself.

Since my travels abroad; I really have felt somewhat out of place. The people I have met and the experiences I have had so far have been great. The one thing that the Philippines offered me a comfort. I had been apart from the Philippines for a long time. I have been back several times over with my family, but this time it was different. It was my first real time being there by myself without the supervision of my parents and family. I have felt a strong connection and bond with the Philippines all of my life, and it did not go away. I cannot really explain what I was feeling about it all, but it was a good feeling all together. Even in the times where I did nothing at all, I still felt like it was a great experience all together.

That is it for now. That is my Christmas story. I will tell you of my New years story tomorrow. There is much more to tell and show.

To be continued...


___


The End


Home sweet home.


-Cezar-

This isn't Kansas at all!

The Journey that Cost a Dream

Recently I have taken some time off to go to the Philippines. I had hoped that the time would help me relax. It had been a very long time since I have been "home" during the Christmas and New Year season, so I was very excited. My travels and experiences so far was always with hope of going to the Philippines. Even though I was raised in America, I have always felt a strong connection with that place. My experience there was nothing more then amazing for me. The journey, however, was a little rough.

For several months, I had planned to go to the Philippines so that I can see my family and celebrate the Holidays in a new way. I had asked my supervisor, which I hate with a passion (a story for another day), when I will be able to take my winter vacation. She had told me that the classes with all of my schools will end December 23rd. So I bought my ticket and started to plan accordingly. My excitement grew as the months passed by and I had high anticipations for the event. A week before my flight, one of my schools informed me that the classes will end on the 22nd rather then the 23rd. I asked if that was always the case, he said yes. I was pissed once again at my supervisor because she cost me valuable time in the Philippines. It was too late for me to change my flight and my plans.

So the 23rd came around. My flight was at 8:30am on the 24th. I stayed at a friend's place the night before so that I can catch the bus from the terminal to the airport.

There I am on the bus December 23rd going towards Incheon. I had a tinkling feeling in my head that there was something wrong. I asked the bus driver if the bus was going to the airport. He told me that it was going to the town and not the airport. Since I was already on the bus, I really could do nothing about it. I thought to myself that it would probably be better off so that I can bed down in the town and catch an early bus to the airport for the next morning. Prior to that I had plans of just sleeping at the airport until it was time to check in. I thought it was a blessing in disguise. As I stepped off the bus I asked around how far away the airport was from the area. Apparently it was about an hour away from there. I started to walk around with my huge luggage and backpack towards the exit, and a man called out to me. He looked like an official; he asked me where I was going. I tell him what my plans were. He told me that it would be better if I go to the town right outside of the airport, but the only problem is that the buses stopped running to the area. The only way to get there was by taxi, which cost about 60,000 won ($55usd) and a motel in the area would cost about the same.

I could see the malicious intent in his eyes. He knew that he was getting one over me. I knew he was liar, but I really did not want to take the risk. So I take the taxi to the area right outside of the airport. We drive around looking for said motel that costs 60,000 won and we find nothing. I had to settle for a motel 80,000 won.

The next day I wake up super early. My flight was at 8:30am and the first subway towards the airport was at 6am. I was cutting it really close for check in time. Luckily the travel time was only about 10 minutes.

So I get to the airport, worried and stressed. I get to the counter to check in. I knew that my bag was overweight, but it was Christmas eve I had hopped to get off easy. I checked in and the man at the counter tells me that my bag is overweight. I tried convince him that it would be nice not to be charged for it. He didn't buy it. He told me that I would have to pay about $30 usd for my overweight. Then he proceeded to greet me a happy Christmas.

I fly through security and wait for my plane. It was a relatively boring time. I was exhausted from all the money I had to pay. I had nearly spent $200usd and I was not even in the Philippines yet. The combination of events had a very ominous feeling for the whole trip.


To be continued...


___


The End


Bah-humbug! -Scrooge


-Cezar-

The Journey that Cost a Dream

Jingle Bells

Christmas time is looming, it has been in the air for the past couple of weeks for me. The difficult part for me is that I will be spending Christmas day and New Years day with the absence of my family. So I decided to buy a ticket for warmer climates. I will be spending some time in the Philippines with family. It has been a very long time since I spent Christmas and New Years in the Philippines, and that really makes me super excited. It will also be my first time going to the Philippines alone. As much as I like being with my parents and what not, I will be getting some good time alone in the Philippines.

I also cannot fight the urge to really get into the mood of it all as well. It has been snowing for the past few days, and I like it to be a white Christmas. Sitting in my room drinking hot coco and watching he snow fall; it makes me feel like a kid again. So I think this will be the last post before I fly out. I will be going on Wednesday and I have many things to do and prepare before I leave. I hope that this vacation will also clear some cob webs away from my head. I have been fighting some writers block for some time and has stopped my progress with my book.


___


The End


Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.


-Cezar-

Jingle Bells

Bitter sweet

Last night it started to snow. I was extremely excited. It had been a very long time since I have seen some good fresh powder. I decided to go a little old school and make myself some hot coco. I sat on my floor with my window open and watched the snow come. For some reason I started to have a couple flash backs of my childhood. I started to laugh and giggle to myself. After a good amount of time I went to bed satisfied.


the mountain outside my appartment


my street

The next morning I woke up and looked outside my window to see the aftermath, it was great. It had snowed all night and it didn't stop. The snowflakes were huge and it really made my town look like a winter wonderland. So I prepared for the day with excitement of being able to play in the snow for a while. I also was heading out the door somewhat sad. It was my last day with my favorite school. I realized, as I made some childlike markings in the snow, that I would really never see these kids again. Over the months I have become fond with them. They are a funny and spirited group of kids.

I step into my school. I had decided to buy some chocolates for my co-teachers as a going away present. So I gave it out to them saying thank you and good-bye. I waited for my first class to begin. My last classes with my kids, I decided to just have fun with them. One of my co-teachers suggested for me to get the kids to write Christmas cards to me. I instantly thought that it was a great idea. It would give me something to do to kill some time and they would like the activity. I didn't expect it to be so touching. They spent so much time and effort creating some thoughtful cards. They also said many great things. I fancy myself as a tough guy kinda hard to keep my emotions down. I found that in Korea emotions are not shown too much on the outside. The kids, even the boys, were all very sad and many of them hugged me good-bye. I found it very touching.


Some of my boys


Some of my girls

One of the nicest things that really put the topping on the situation; was the scenery. The snow really did a number on the surrounding mountains. the snow covered trees actually glistened in the sun. There were little pockets of trees that didn't have snow in the mountains that brought out the color of the snow. As the snow was falling and I stared out the window, I could not help myself but sing songs.


My view from one of the classrooms

During lunch time several of my children came up to me and asked if I wanted to play in the snow with them. I said yes. I quickly ran to my office put my gloves on and played. I really haven't had that much fun in Korea in a while. Throwing snowballs, laughing, and playing with my kids. They seemed to have fun and they were actually practicing their English while we played.

All together it was a great day. As I left the school, I could hear most to all of my kids yelling my name and saying goodbye. A few of them actually started walking with me and talking while I left. I could tell that they really didn't want me to leave. I told them good bye one last time and gave each one of them a hug.


___


The End


Parting is such sweet sorrow.


-Cezar-

Bitter sweet

Curveball

I didn't plan on writing today, but life has given me a little bit of a pick me up. By all means it was a normal day; I taught my classes and I went through my day. I enjoyed hot coco that I made to counter the cold day. I sat and played my video games on my computer while I was in my classes. On all accounts, I had a very boring day.

I came home thinking to myself that I did not want to cook dinner. I cook about 85% of the time for my dinners. Tonight I felt really lazy to do anything. So I strolled into the local Chinese Restaurant. I go there so often that they know what I like to order. So I walk into the place and the owner greets me with a smile and a small laugh. He says the food item that I usually order and I say yes. He sits down with me at my table and in broken English we have a conversation. He and I spoke about where I was from and how long I have been in South Korea. I ask him in tern about his history. He serves me a cup of green tea. While I waited for the food, he walks up and hands me a bottle of soda and says it's free. He pours me a cup and I return the favor. The food is served very quickly and I eat it just as fast. He then walks over again and hands me a cup of coffee. I thank him over and over again.

I walked over to the counter to pay for the meal. His wife discounts my meal from the regular price. She says in Korean "because you are a teacher in Gyeokpo." I thank her abundantly. I felt humbled by the show of care and friendship they showed. So I ran back into my room and grab a couple bars of Hersey's Chocolate. I walk into the place again and give her a small token of my appreciation. She smiles from ear to ear and says "thank you very much."

I have been back in my room ever since then. I have not stopped smiling. I had forgotten the simple pleasure of giving. I liked the fact that they gave me some free stuff, but something about giving them something as small as that kinda blew my mind. This all comes at a time where Christmas is just around the corner. I have been teaching my children Christmas Carols. I have been singing all my favorite song with them. This night almost just puts a bow on top of it all.

The weekend is coming and I will be spending it with some very close friends. I think it will really put me in the mood for Christmas. If I had the real verbal capacity to express my feelings right now I would, but sadly I cannot. I think one word can really express it all. Joy.


___


The End


Tis better to give than receive.


-Cezar-

Curveball

Lost in Transportation

The weekend was pretty interesting. I went down to Mokpo for another trail. The whole week I had been feeling a little down because of the recent departure of my friend, so going away seemed like a good idea. My friends in Mokpo invited the hashers to come and do a trail so I decided to go. The event wasn't going to happen until Saturday; so I decided to stay home on Friday and go in the morning. I had forgotten how boring it was in my town on a Friday night. I have been so used to going to Jeonju or Iksan on a Friday nights. So I sat around waiting until I was tired enough to go to sleep.

Saturday morning I had to wake up extremely early so that I could catch the morning bus down to Mokpo. It was easy enough, I had no real problems with it at all. I arrived in Mokpo about 2 hours later. I helped finish laying trail with my friends and what not. We grabbed a little lunch and waited for other people to show up. I thought that Gyeokpo was cold, but let me tell you Mokpo was freezing. It was actually snowing during trail. So I was happy that I had the smarts to wear several layers at a time, but that didn't stop me from being cold. So we finish up the trail. Then we proceed to go out into the town for some fun. It was nice being in a new town and just getting away from it all.

Sunday morning rolls around. I decided to sleep in. I knew that my trip shouldn't take too long so I had the luxury to sleep in that day. I started to move around and travel around 11am. So I take one bus to the big city Gwangju and into the terminal. I buy my ticket for Buan. I was told that the bus wasn't coming until 2pm; it was 1pm at the time. So I grabbed some lunch and waited for the bus. I see the bus pull in. As per my usual routine I ask the ticket receiver if the bus was going to Buan. She replies yes. I then proceed to ask the bus driver if the bus was going to Buan. He says yes. So I sit down and wait until I get to go home. I knew the ride was supposed to be an hour and a half. So I wasn't too worried. As we drove along, I started not to recognize anything. It had been already an hour into the bus ride, and there was nothing that I recognized. I thought to myself that he might be taking a different route. So I lay back and waited. As it approached the 2 hour mark; I knew that something was wrong. So I waited til the next stop. I walked up to the driver and asked the driver where he was going in Koren. He replied MUAN. I kindly tried to explain to him what had happened. He laughed a little bit and told the ticket officer what happened at the town he dropped me off at. So I had to get on another bus to go back to Gwangju. The bus driver and I had a conversation about what happened and he laughed too. So there I was in a town where I had no idea where it was. I had to wait. Then another 2 hour bus ride back to Gwangju. As I got off the bus, the bus driver was kind enough to help me get the right ticket. He literally held my hand the whole way. It was 5:45pm at the time. The very last bus to Buan didn't leave til 6:25. So I had some time to kill. So I waited some more. Then my bus finally came. I asked the ticket officer, the bus driver and several of the passengers if the bus was going to Buan. They all answered yes. So I lied back and waited some more.

I also had the issue of trying to make it to Buan in time. I live about 45min away from Buan. The last bus to my town leaves at 8pm sharp every night. Leaving Gwangju at 6:25 with a hour and forty minute ride; I feared the worse. I did not want to have to take a taxi home. So all I could do is sit patiently and wait. Luckily the bus pulled into the terminal at 7:45 leaving me with plenty of time to get on the bus. So again I waited. The bus pulls in at 7:59 and I jump in. I sit and relax cause I was on my way home. I got home and I was so relieved. All I did was go to my room and get into bed. I had been traveling for 9 hours for that one day. That was no fun at all.

I just wanted to touch on the feeling of being lost. It wasn't cool at all. That was the first time EVER in South Korea that I felt not only alone but lonely. I had no one to call or talk too. I had no one that spoke my language to tell me it was going to be alright. I found it to be a very weird experience all together. Once I realized that I was lost; I got that sinking feeling. I really wanted to panic and what not. I'm usually okay with not being in control, but that wasn't cool at all. Getting lost in that area really made me feel, for a lack of a better word, lost. I'm glad that I had the patience to get back and do what I needed to do. I contacted a couple of my friends. They were nice enough to laugh at me and help me through the situation. That made me feel a little better.


___


The End


Patience is a virtue.


-Cezar-

Lost in Transportation

Thanks?

So today is thanksgiving. It has been a while since I have actually appreciated things enough to be thankful for them. I am though. I am thankful for all the big and small things in my life.

I have been thinking about what my friends say to me all the time. They tell me that I have a lot of strength for staying in such an isolated area. I think that anyone could do the same. At some point in everyone's life they feel alone or lonely. I know my case is in the extreme, but is it that too hard to imagine being where I am. I understand it takes a certain type to deal with being alone, but it's also not too difficult. One would be able to first cope with it; then after manage it. The hardest part I think is finding motivation. I find it hard to dig deep now a days to do the simple things. My book is again fallen to the side because I lack focus and strength to pick it up. My supposed studies of Korean or even reading one of my several books has put aside. I keep trying to dig deep, but I find nothing.

On a happier note. I will be finished with work soon and vacation is around the corner. After vacation, I will work for a short time then wait to go home.


____


The End


We learn more in loss than in victory.


-Cezar-

Thanks?

We must endure

I have been writing one of my books for the past couple of days. I have really picked up where I left off from a couple months ago, but it seems like I have hit a little bit of writers block. So I decided to do some free writing here to start the cogs again and maybe stumble onto where the story should go.

I have been dealing with a couple different things the past weeks. One of my closest friends here in South Korea is leaving to go back home. He is one of the bigger reasons why I stayed in Korea. Now that he is leaving; I feel at a loss. I know that it will not be the last time I will be seeing my good friend, yet I am sad to see him leave. We shared many good laughs and some good times together. His departure makes me long for my own. I keep on thinking about when I get to go home. I keep on picturing my family and friends being there. Being away for so long has really taught me the value of being home.

There are so many things that I tend to take for granted when I was home. I think I will have a new appreciation when I get back. On the other side of the coin; I will really miss the freedom I have here. Seriously, the things that I get away with and have done here in South Korea is refreshing. The societal norms here let me have a type of freedom that I was not afforded back in America. I feel that I am more bound by society back in America, and in South Korea I am able to do what I please (to a certain extent).

Anyways; back to my book. As far as a writer goes, I don't think I am one. I was talking to a good friend of mine and she suggested that I am more of a story teller, it seemed to fit what I had in mind. It also seems to be the case with my book, as I write them it seems more like I am speaking then writing. I will finish the book soon and see what happens.

I actually had forgotten that I had started writing the story on paper. I pulled up the document on my computer and found it to be shorter than what I had remembered. I also realized that I lost the particular book in which I kept all my notes. So I literally had to back track on all my characters and stories. Where I am supposed to be at page 9 or so; I am now only on page 5. It has proven very frustrating having to try to recreate the story and characters. I am making progress but it's slow and difficult. I set a high goal of getting to page 20 by the end of the week, but it seems like I will only be able to get to page 10. The story itself is taking on a new life and path then what I had anticipated.

I also wanted to share a piece that I recently wrote. As most of you know I have been active with hiking and what not. They made me an officer for the group and put me in charge of doing some write ups. This was one of my most recent ones. I was actually surprised on how it came out. I think it is one of my better write ups.

A naming and a goodbye
It seems to me when a group of people congregate there is a high chance of bonding. That is what the house harriers is all about; we try to create a sense of connection with other people. When you are in a place where you have no one else but each other; joining a group like ours is easy to do. The hashers hold a long line of tradition near its heart and it welcomes you to join into it. We had a typical run last weekend. A few virgins joined the group and an old friend left it.
The trail was simple; it was an A to B this time. We decided to keep it light and short because of time restrictions. I proceeded to start all the festivities around 4:30ish; so that we don’t lose trail in the dark. It was all medium hills with no real obstacles in our way to finding the beer. The FRBs (front running bastards) helped make trail easier to follow with laying more chalk lines. The trail lasted about an hour, walking.
We ended at a local restaurant. We ate and drank for a couple of minutes and started the ceremonies. The virgins were put through their paces and I was not disappointed. They were more than willing to bear themselves to us and the world. It does me very well when I see virgins willing to disgrace themselves to entertain the pack.
We sang song and went through ceremonies. We said goodbye to a fellow hasher. He has been a big part of the hash both in Seoul and in Jeonju. His name was Dirty. He was the epitome of a hasher. He had one of the biggest hearts and kindest personalities that I knew. His presence was always welcome and enjoyed by all; truly a hasher through and through. On a more personal note, I will miss him very much. He was a great man and a fantastic hasher.
Once we dispatched with those pleasantries, we went onto a naming. NN Nancy had been hashing with us a couple of times. She hashed enough to earn her name in Jeonju. We had given her a questionnaire to help us in her naming. After much talking and reviewing and storytelling, we came upon a name only befitting a fellow hasher. NN Nancy was baptized under some beer; when she emerged she was to be known as Back Alley Cabby (BAC). She was welcomed into the fold. We finished with that and moved to close the hash. We continued to drink and eat into the night.
That was our trail and my tail of it. We shed a tear for the hasher that left but in rejoice for the new hashers gained and for the newly named. For our fellow brother and sister hashers; the trail will never end. The trail will always find a way to bring us together. It is our way of bonding and our way to form a brotherhood. So if you have time; come find us on trail and join us in song and drink. You will enjoy yourself.



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The End


Have faith.


-Cezar-

We must endure

end game

So yeah. I have been away from this blog for a while and I have missed it. It seems, even though I have nothing where I am; that I have no time for anything. I have been so consumed with trying to do some work for school and looking forward to the weekends that I have no time to really do anything. I have made some real connections with some new people in Buan. I have eaten with them several times already and they seem to be good people. Last Sunday I was passing through Buan I sent a text message to them and they invited me to have brunch with them.

I have decided to try to make this a column that you would read in a newspaper. So I will try to write in this at least twice a week. I would like suggestions on what to write about.


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The End


The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line.


-Cezar-

end game

Parents

On a side note. It was my parents anniversary yesterday. I called them last night to wish them happy anniversary. I just wanted to wish them a happy anniversary again. I love you both so very much. Words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation for all of your sacrifice and work you have done for me over the years. I couldn't of asked for better parents. I know we have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day I will always love you guys with all of my heart.

Parents

And the survey says

Okay. I know it has been a couple of days since I have last updated. So here I go.


Nothing really new has been happening. Hashing is hashing. Trails have been getting better and more interesting. Weekends have been going fast and weekdays even faster. I am counting the days until I am done with work and I go to the Philippines for vacation. Then I am counting the days until I go home. Until then I will be just going around doing the same thing everyday.

As far as new things going on. New friends in Buan have been more then accommodating to me. They have come to my town and broke bread with me. I have gone to their town and done the same. I will be going up there again this week for dinner.

I haven't made any head way with any one of my books. I don't know if its writer's block lack of motivations, it may be both.


That is it for now.


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The End


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. -Forrest Gump


-Cezar-

And the survey says

Rabble

I know it has been a couple of days since I have written in this thing. I have found myself less and less inclined to write in it. Even though I still find it a very nice outlet for me to voice my thoughts and actually practice my writing skills; I have grown tired of it. I am focusing on several things at the moment. I found out that my friend Stand is leaving South Korea early because he does not like his situation. He went to talk to his boss and they ended up agreeing to let him go early. He plans to leave December 1st. I am naturally not too happy about it, but he needs to do what makes him happy.

On a side note I have met a handful of foreigners in the town about 45 min away from me. I met them on my way up to Seoul. They were nice enough to invite me out to dinner one night. I enjoyed their company. They are a good group of kids; from what I learned there are about 9 of them in the town. It's a good thing I found them, but I will be leaving in a couple of months and I don't think I will be able to meet up with them much.

As far as the hash over the past weekend; it went extremely well. The GM left for japan for a vacation and put me in charge of the hash. So I made trail with another person. I also had to go through making sure accommodations, food, travel and drinks were together. I thought it would be an easy job, but it isn't. I was getting stressed over people, places, trail and everything that involved a hash. Honestly I didn't even do that great of a job. There were many aspects that I ignored or forgot about. Otherwise it was a great time; the people that came down and up from where they live had a great time. We had a large group of people, more than usual, about 17 people that did trail with us. I sang song with them and I had a great time making them act like fools.

As far as my week, it was relatively slow and boring. One of my co-workers decided to ask me to go and hangout with him and another co-teacher. Their English isn't too bad, so the night was pretty good conversation and what not. It was also nice to get out of my room and do something.


That has been the story for the past couple of days/weeks. I know that my posts have been getting less and less every time, but it takes a lot to try to find something out of nothing. I am making good use of my time I am reading more and starting to write my books.


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The End


Idol hands are the Devil's playground.


-Cezar-

Rabble

Time well spent

The weekend jumped off in the same manner it usually does. I decided to jump into a bus heading to Seoul. It was Friday night once again and I wanted to see my friends. I take the bus headed up to Seoul like usual. The nice part about the ride was that I met some foreigners in Buan, the neighboring city to me. We chatted a bit and they told me that there were 9 foreigners in the city. We chatted and exchanged information with each other. It was a nice surprise to meet some foreigners in the area.

I eventually arrive in Seoul. I transit in between subways like usual. I end up going to a local bar that all the hashers we hanging out at. The week leading to the weekend was special. It was a hash-marathon in Seoul. All through out the week there was trail at least once a day. I was only able to catch the tail end because I live about 4 hours away. My friends were happy to see me anyways. Once I arrived in the bar, I hear the happy greetings. I go around making my hellos and introductions. I met Hashers that had came in from out of country just for the weekend events. It was a nice sight and experience all together.

Saturday rolls around. I had 2 trails that I wanted to take part of; so I did. Trail was regular. Up hills and down slopes; climbing up and jumping down obstacles. I had the Yeongsan Kimchi H3* trail first. Their trails are usually something that I look forward too. This time I had company as I walked the trail, which is a nice change of pace. Trail started at 11am ended at 1pm. I had another trail that started at 1; so I literally had no time to waste. It was a special event for the Seoul H3, it was their 2000th run. We took a bus to the start location, about an hour away. The trail was amazing. I took a trail that took me up a mountain. I saw beautiful landscape. I was also accompanied by another walker for the trail. We chatted for a while. The trail ended around 6pm. We ended the trail in their traditional way. We started a fire and ate and drank around it. This pack was consisted on only men. So we were just that. Men around a fire sharing stories and laughter. Later on that night we head back into Itaewon. We go to a couple bars meeting up with other hashers. We go onto the night until about 3 am. We have our fun.

At one of the bars, a stranger approaches us. He started asking questions about who we were. I kindly explain what the hash is about and who these people were. We talk about it for about an hour. I started pulling in other hashers to sell the case. We talk about brotherhood and the trail. One of the hashers got a little philosophical. I explained to him that the hash wasn't about getting drunk, finding girls or debauchery. The hash is about the people and the relationship that we build. One of the hashers chimed in and made a comparison to the band of brothers. I cannot fully recall it, but I knew what he said was true.

Sunday rolls around. I grab breakfast with the hashers. I have some great conversations and laughs. They leave for another trail that I can't take part of because of time restrictions. I walk around Itaewon and pick up a couple of things that I need for myself and head back home.



___


The End


Brotherhood isn't given it is earned.


-Cezar-

Time well spent

Clarity

I have been reading a book that my parents gave to me when they visited me. Basically this book is trying to help me become a better writer. It has given me some real insight into the mind of a writer. It has actually given me better ideas on how to write which I really like.

So yesterday I had the whole day off so I really started reading the book. I didn't get a chance to finish it, but I got many good tips. The biggest and most important tip I received was that it's a conversation. A conversation between me as a writer and you as a reader. I need to visualize you as a reader. I need to make sure that I am clear as if we are having a dialog.

It's really something when you realize something as significant as that. I always had the reader in mind when I write, but never considered it to that level. I really had one of those "AH HA!" moments. I am excited to read more into this book because it seems to have golden nuggets of information for me.


___


The End


Limitation is where you find your imagination.


-Cezar-

Clarity

New path Same road

The weekend was interesting to say the least. I spent it with a group of new friends. They are in a neighboring town called Iksan. I have known them for quite some time now, but rarely spent much time with them. I had focused my energies into hashing and Seoul and Jeonju that I let them slip through my fingers. This past weekend I decided to spend the weekend with them. It turned out to be a good idea all together. They were a good group of kids that I could really connect with and have fun with. We spent most of friday night and saturday night going around doing some shenanigans. I haven't laughed or connected with a group of kids like that in a very long time. Which made me sad because I know what is going to happen. The more time I spend with them; the more time I will really connect with them. That will make it extremely hard for me to leave. I have grown attached to many of the people here and that is causing me some problems. I know that I will be leaving in a short amount of time and that will make things harder for me. I am really torn between states of mind. I want company so that I don't get too lonely, but I also don't want to get too attached. I know how I get. I am an emotional man. I have an open heart. This will prove to be more difficult when time comes for me to say goodbye.


Just to mention. I had duties for the hash on saturday. I had to lead the group in ceremonies. The trail was decent, but I got lost of trail for a while. I was lucky to run into another hasher, she helped me by calling and getting directions for me. I often complain about shiggy, trails with rough terrain, but I saw the non-shiggy trail and I didn't like it too much. After taking part in trails with a lot of shiggy and interesting obstacles, I kind of long for hurdles. I complain about climbing hills and mountains and going through rough terrain, but in the long run, it just more interesting that way. I would like a happy medium of a trail, that would be the best solution.

I digress, the weekend was great. It was a real chance for me to connect with people that I am starting to care for. It was also a nice change of pace; it felt slower. It was wholesome fun; I actually spent some time playing jenga at a bar and it was amazing.




___


The End

New path Same road

Lack thereof

Ok. So Monday rolls around. I had another day off so I decided to take Manny on a tour of my town. We went to a local temple that I always show the visitors. He enjoyed seeing the history and oldness of the temple. I enjoy that area for its peacefulness. It is situated in a huge piece of land. There are trees and greenery everywhere. It is a peaceful 1km walk towards the temple itself. When you walk around the temple you will see the local mountains surrounding it. It is one of those sights that is best savored sitting on a bench taking in the scenery. There is chanting playing all through out the area which gives it more of a relaxing feeling.

After the temple I take him on a walking tour of my whole town. We share a couple of good laughs. Then we eat the local Chinese food in the area, which Manny instantly fell in love with. Then I try to take him to the top of a small look out point to watch the sunset, but we missed it. We just ended up having a beer and talking about life.

Manny had fell in love with Korea the instant that he arrived. I would like to think that I helped because I already knew the area and knew where to go. I also think that taking him to a Hash was a great idea. I made him a hasher, and I couldn't be happier.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed by rather quickly. Manny was still in town but he had to leave Wednesday morning. He planned to go back to Seoul to meet up with my friends and do some stuff. He really wanted to visit Harley again to acquire his shirt. My friends up there were kind enough to give him a place to crash and show him around town.


___


The End


The road split in two, right and left. I decided to go straight.


-Cezar-

Lack thereof