Friday, February 26, 2010

How Do You Say Goodbye?

I had to re-write the opening sentence like 10 times now. How am I supposed to write my opening for saying Goodbye? I have been considering this blog for quite some time now. This will be my very last one. There are so many words that I want to use to truly describe my experiences here in South Korea.

So here I go. One year ago I came to this country not knowing what to expect. The only thing I knew was that I was going to teach or try to teach English to people. There was no Honeymoon period for me. Korea started off very rocky. I had experienced things that I would not wish upon any new-comers here. I lied too and swindled into my position. I was caught in a catch 22 of life. I could not do anything about it. I had to make the difficult decision of staying in a bad situation. My feelings of course was to run home with my tail between my legs but with encouragement from my family I stayed.

You should know my story by now. I will tell you what I have learned on this journey.

Personal growth is something that I did not expect to happen. I also didn't expect to learn so much about myself. I found a long lost passion of mine and now I really want to nurture it. I found that people truly enjoy being around me. I found that I enjoy time to myself and with good friends. There were many times here in Gyeokpo that I went for a walk and really dove into my mind. I started to really meditate on me and my life. Though this place was lonely, I was able to use that to gain access to myself. People tell me that they admire me for staying in Gyeokpo for so long. They say that they would not be able to do what I do. I respond to them that they would be surprised at themselves. I believe that anyone has the same capacity to do what I did. They just have to have the same type of mindset or the will to stay. This place is hard to live in, especially alone, but one learns how to cope. This place had its ups and downs, but truly I will miss it. I had an opportunity to experience Korea in a different way. Most guest english teachers experience Korea with a hint of Western culture. I was able to experience Korea before all of that. Truly I think that was more valuable than anything else.

The culture itself is an oxymoron. I don't want to speak out of term nor talk down to another culture, but this is how I feel. This is a rich culture. They pride themselves on it, which is a good thing. This pride sometimes turns into arrogance. Some to many of the people seem to be shortsighted. Much of the fashion and thinking is in some type of box or cookie cutter. The good thing is that there is a small constituent that is trying to assert their independence. I have often compared their culture in terms of time. As of right now I believe they are going through the 1950 generation to the 1960s generation. The old guard is trying to maintain control and tradition while the youth is trying to break that mold. As far as being a foreigner goes, its a little bit of a up hill battle. Their people are still not used to seeing different faces. I was blessed with being able to blend into the society so that no one really bothered me too much. My friends on the other hand were treated as if they were Rock stars. That is a great feeling I would assume, but it would be quite frustrating after a while. Sometimes you just want to be left alone. There is also this underlying feeling of racism here in South Korea. There is a point in ones life where you know when you are being stared at for the wrong reasons. There also has been times where it was more obvious than that. I do understand where it comes from though. There are foreigners that give the good ones a bad name. So its no ones fault. All in all they are normal people.

To sum all of this up. My experience here wasn't great nor was it horrible. This adventure was like a normal year for me, just in a different country. I guess in the end all I can really say is thank you. Thank you to all the great people that I have met and befriended. Thanks to all the children that made teaching a pleasure. Thanks to all the Koreans that made this place feel comfortable. Thanks to my family that supported me with their words and love from home. Last but not least Thank you Gyeokpo for showing me that there is more to me than meets the eye.


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The End


All roads must come to an end.


-Cezar-
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