From day one in this country; I have found something that I am not accustomed to, kindness. Most to all of everyone I have met has welcomed me into their lives. No one has turned me away or down. I am always greeted with smiles, handshakes, or a simple bow. Whenever I am lost, people generally help me find my way. There was this one time that I asked for directions. Not only did the gentleman start making phone calls to find directions, he offered to walk me to my destination. To drive this point more about the kindness of the people here, the people in my church are equally amazing. I am sure that they would offer the shirt off of their backs if needed. I met this couple in church, and I have been a constant guest in their home. I feel that I have become an adoptive son into their family. They have gifted to me a slew of helpful tools. These gifts ranged from teaching materials to a good conversation. Their help, advice and gifts started from day one. This was a new and strange feeling. In America everyone is so guarded, that it feels wrong to ask for help or a favor. At first I resisted, well not resisted just weary. This was a type of hospitality that I have not experienced in a very long time, but it was more than welcome in my life.
The one experience that is also very new is acknowledgement. People generally acknowledge that fact that you do exist in the world. You are not just another face in the crowd. You are a person and you are there. This is again something new to me. At home I am nobody, just another lost face in a crowd of lost faces. The great thing about being here is that you are everybody’s friend. When I meet someone or talk to someone; they react as if I am a long lost friend. They welcome me with open arms, mind and heart. Back in America you must earn the right of friendship; here friendship is given away like candy. If I were to talk up to a stranger and start talking to them as if they were my long lost friend, a dirty look is the least of my problems. Here in Korea, this stranger will literally try to hold your hand to help you. Sometimes I feel a simple thank you is not enough for all the kindness I receive.
I think this is one of the biggest lessons I will take away with from Korea, the idea of universal kindness and friendship. I think this idea can really change people. If we all just started smiling more and giving people more acknowledgement, we would be in a better place. If we let our guard down for just a moment, would it be so bad? I once read a bumper sticker that said “have you hugged someone today?” I am seriously asking this question to you. You don’t literally have to hug someone, but have you shown some type of kindness to someone today? If not, why? Many of you are probably saying what is in it for me? Let me answer your question with these questions. Does kindness really need a reward? Do we really need an excuse to be kind? Can’t we give without expecting something back? Is that what our society has come down to? There has to be something in it for us before we do anything. There has to be a reward for our effort before actions are taken. I always believed that kindness it its own reward. Many of you may scoff at that statement. Many of you may call me naïve. I look at you and feel sad that you think that way. Our society has trained us or has lead us to believe that if we do something a reward has to be physical, monetary, or praiseworthy. That reward can never just be an idea or a feeling. It can never be just a handshake, a simple thank you, or absolutely nothing at all.
Just as an example of me practicing what I preach. Yesterday I was walking around my town and I saw to foreigners. They were just walking and they had two large back packs with them. I simply walked up to them and asked, “do you need help?”. Their response was “yes we do.” So I helped them around my town. I walked them to everywhere they needed to get to. I showed them where the stores were, I showed them how to get to certain places. At the end of our little adventure, all I received was a handshake and two new friends. I walked away smiling that night. That was all I needed and wanted from them, a good conversation, a good laugh and friendship.
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The End
Give with no reason, because you need no reason to give.
-Cezar-
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