To the Grind

Ah the weekdays. This is payment for a fun weekend. The hard weekdays make me appreciate the weekends so much more. I really enjoy my time with my friends, being with my friends reminds me of being home. The time I spend with my friends also lets me be me, I don't get much time for that now a days. It is a welcome relief and really lets me break out of my rut from that week. That is about all what I have for the past week. I have been focused on my upcoming vacation. By the way, for all of my readers and what not, I will be away for two weeks. These two weeks I plan to take a break from everything. That means I will not be writing in my blogs. I do want to take the time to thank those who actually read my blogs on a semi-regular basis. I will miss writing, but I will keep a pen an pad handy. I will log into that once in a while. The logs that I choose will make it into my blogs. For today's exercise I will do something that I do best, talk about food.

Fried Chicken
It seems to be lightly fried. The coloring of the chicken is a light brown almost golden color. The skin looks light and crispy. I could feel the heat still rising off of the chicken itself, almost as if it was just taken out of the fryer. There is an aroma that emanates from the chicken itself. The smell seems to speak as if welcoming you to devour it in one smooth motion. I am tempted to eat it, but how it looks and smells, it almost seems to be a shame to eat it at all. I take a step back from the chicken and take a deep breath it. This breath takes me into memories of childhood and eating chicken with my family. I eventually take a bite into the meat. The first thing bitten into is a combination of meat and skin. The skin crackles sounds like a melody of random sounds that keeps on inviting you to eat more. Then the taste of the meat hits my tongue. Just like the skin, instead of sound it is flavor. The combination of sauce and meat create a sensation of hot, sweet, sour and several other flavors that enhance the experience. The meat tastes of a musical symphony, it is a delicate balance that seems to have been done almost on purpose. In an instant I am consumed by an urge to eat this tender morsel of meat. Then in that same instance I have eaten it all. It was an experience, almost religious in nature.



___


The End



The best food is usually eaten fast for your soul.



-Cezar-

To the Grind

What's in a name?

Ok. The past week has been kind of nutty. Summer sessions have started for me. I have been teaching the kids by myself in the English room. This is really the first time that I have the opportunity to teach the kids all by myself. It has been a fun experience. I really need to find ways to make the class more interesting and fun for the kids. The best part of the days is when it's over. My day ends at or around 12:10 everyday. That gives me a lot of time for and to myself. I have taken the opportunity to connect with my inner beach bum. I have been sleeping and swimming at the beach for nearly a week. The only issue that has come to my attention is the various sea life that shares the waters. It has become very clear to me that there are jellyfish in the water. I have come close on several occasions to making contact. I have no desire whatsoever to touch one. So recently my desire to jump into the water has been defeated by my fear of being stung. This phobia has become quite a problem for me. I truly enjoy the water, but now I do not enjoy it as much. When I am in the water I try to keep aware of my surroundings and that takes away from my relaxing time. I need to find an alternative to the beach now.

Now for my weekend recap.


Friday:

I get out of work around 12:10. I decided to go to the beach for a couple of hours before I go into Jeonju. I stayed on the beach until around 4pm ish. The bus ride was nothing special, it was a regular 2 hour ride into town. I get into Stan's place pretty early, he left me his keys so I can get into his apartment. He eventually gets in and we wind down and relax a bit. We head out to a spa to meet up with a couple of friends. Ruveena and Kevin had already made it to the spa. We go and grab some time at the saunas and grab some food. We were out until about 12am ish. The only problem was I was feeling a little sick. My throat was killing me and I had a viscous cough that really wasn't going away at all.

Saturday:

My sickness still hadn't gone away. There was going to be a hash this day and I wasn't up for it. I had found out the night before that this would be my 5th hash and I was to be named this day IF I were to hash. I was determined to do this hash in order to acquire my name. The day started off ok. There were a couple of clouds in the sky, it felt somewhat ominous. I shrug it off because my concerns were for conquering my sickness. My throat was so much in pain that I could not drink or eat. I spent most to all of the morning drinking tea or trying to sooth my aches. I had high hopes for that day because a group of Hashers from Seoul were coming down for the day for this particular hash. These hopes of the hash quickly got dashed because the rain had come in and it was angry. The Hammer had planned to set a dead trail, but the rain had other plans. In true hasher spirit we decided to go on with the hash itself. We all lucked out because the rain gave way for us to have trail. One of the hashers from jeonju volunteered to set trail while we follow 20 min behind. His name is Flash Me Nicely. So Flash ran the trail, but it was his first real trail that he set. We all followed trail and got lost. We got so lost, that at mid point we decided to get off trail and go to the end point directly. There were a couple of people that made it through the hash fully. By the time they made it to the bar most of us were already half into the tank. They eventually catch up to us. We all start talking and laughing. Sharing stories and jokes about each other. Start bonding as all hashers do. Some catch wind about my naming ceremony so they start probing me about my life and what not. I answer all questions honestly. Eventually the hash circle forms. All the traditions are taken place, but the management asked us to pick up the pace. The Virgins are dispatched quickly and what not. The main event was my naming. More questions about me were asked, mostly embarrassing ones. One girl was telling a story how she constantly drank a drink called "ceasar" in Canada and how good it was. In reply to make it funny, I said I go down easy. All laugh out loud. We continue with throwing names out. Eventually we finish and review all the names and then vote. At the end it came down to only one name "Goes Down Easy". I couldn't of asked for a better name. We all continue the night with more debauchery. There was a live show with a rock bands from different areas. Some hashers stay and others leave for more. We all end up going to clubs and parting for most of the night. We end up out until about 4am.

Sunday:

Southside wanted to do a hash. They started trail around the express bus terminal in Jeonju. Some go and some stay. I came to say my farethewells to the hashers. It was a nice treat for me to see them in the area and for me to hash with them. I just planned to say hi and bye, but got pulled into some bsing and what not. I spent about and hour or so just talking and having a good time with them. I eventually depart from their company. Good times were to be had by all.


___


The End


Slow and steady wins the race.


-Cezar-

What's in a name?

Slow down

Ok. I do apologize. I am making an effort to post on a daily basis. This is my new challenge to me in to trying to describe things better. I had a conversation last weekend with another tormented writer. I told her about my feelings about writing and all the insecurities that I go through. She re-assured me that she goes through the same things, which really gave me hope that I was not alone. So this is me on my efforts in improving my skills. I also want to comment on my last blog. I feel that I could have done better. I am really just trying to find my voice. I think my style right now is organic. I feel more comfortable trying to bring life into simple words. My last blog felt too cold. I guess that is one of the challenges in front of me. I will try to find a middle ground right now, until I figure it out. In the next couple of blogs, I will try to describe things that are cold and try to bring warmth to it. I will also try to bring more life into something that has meaning to it as well. I do hope you hang in there on my journey of finding my voice and style. I would love to hear from anyone reading it. I would like any suggestions. I will also make more of an effort to read more. I think if I read more I would be able to find myself. The only issue I find with that line of thought is that I might take on someone's voice and not develop my own. I don't want to be a carbon copy of a great writer. I just want to write well enough so that I don't seem like too much of a fool. On a last note. I find it deeply ironic that I am not a reader, nor do I really comprehend all the rules of writing well, but I find myself drawn to the stage of writing.


The Caress

It is a hovering sensation. A simple touch. An exchange of sensations between two parties. You feel it as if it is there and not there at the same time. It is a hand or a finger that gives a gesture of there and not there. Moved in patterns and directions that give a sense of air. The air that can only be felt like a breeze coming in from the beach or silk cloth on the skin. This feeling is shared, as if the moment were to never really end. It is the presence of the touch that is not really there. It is gentle so gentle in fact that one could not be really be sure that it is there.



____


The End


"Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda


-Cezar-

Slow down

The Simple Things

Here we are again. I think I will try to stay on this path of developing my ability to describe things. I have been reflecting on what it means for me as a writer. I believe at the end of the day this tool will help get you, as the reader, more involved in the story. If I were to just state that the object was a leaf or something like that, you will not be as engaged. The stories that I weave need to have details. I think I have to tell you about the object or situations as if you have never seen or heard of them before. I believe these exercises in description will lead me to a new path in my writing. I hope all of you enjoy reading it as much as I write it. On a side note. Something interesting occurred to me when I was reflecting on my style of writing and how to develop it. I realized that when I write I am on the same journey as you. I write as the stories develop. I have no forethought about what is going to happen in a particular story. I have a general idea on where the story will end, but how it progresses is a mystery to me. That is why I believe being as descriptive as possible will help in the stories I tell.


Breath
The diaphragm expands. Air is funneled into tubes into the lungs. The Lungs expand and exchange what is necessary. The waste is funneled back into the same tubes and out. All of this in a matter of seconds, it is simple as A and B. We breath in and out. An exchange of particles of molecules and atoms so minute that no human eye can perceive it. This exchange has been dealt many times in our lives. The true events of this "simple" exchange cannot be so easily described by words as small as the very molecules themselves. We think it as only an exchange. This event happens because it needs to happen. It is more of an age old bargain that was negotiated many Millennia ago. This act of breathing just as complex to comprehend as well as explain. We all enjoy this act of breathing from moment to moment. The systems that support the lungs can only really be described as a complex highway intertwined and interdependent. The nerves that shoot impulses to the muscles and the veins and arteries that give them blood. Each has a roll; and each cannot exist without the other. The breath that we take for granted is really seems like a purposeful miracle. This simple act of a breath is not so simple indeed. It is more simply taken for granted, much like anything else in the world. The breath is a gift that, for some, is easily taken.



___


The End



The past has happened. The future is unknown. Today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.


-Cezar-

The Simple Things

so you say

In an effort to improve my writing skills I will be taking some time to practice describing objects and or events. I hope that this will help me in the future. Let us see how it goes. Today I will try to talk about a leaf.

The Gentle Leaves
There grows a tree in a forest. This tree is not young nor is it old. It's roots are deeply intertwined and dug into the ground. It's bark is worn from bearing both strong winds and rain. It's has survived and thrived for many years. This tree grows. The limbs and branches are outstretched as if trying to embrace the sun and the sky itself. These branches thrive with the tree. As if by some miracle small buds spring forth from the branches of the branches. This is nothing new for the tree. It has been through many seasons and has cycled through this before. The days have passed into weeks. The buds are starting to bloom. The buds blossom into leaves. Each leaf can only be described as only as green. It's true colors and beauty cannot be so easily grasped. The leaves themselves, much like the tree, grow towards the sky and sun as if trying to consume it. The leaves are like little trees. Each one is rooted into the tree and they have small branch like extensions that reach upwards. Their roots are strong, like the tree. The winds blow and thrash the leaves about, but the leaves stay rooted. The winds howl in anger and frustration at it's inability to remove the leaves from the branches. The leaves themselves provide cover to those who seek it's shelter from the rain or sun. They possess a certain softness almost gentle quality.



___


The End



Speak as if only to say something.



-Cezar-

so you say

swing away

This weekend was a nice relief from the past weekends. I have had such a packed july that it has been just a little crazy. I found myself back n Jeonju for the weekend. Friday night I went out with Stan and a couple of his students for dinner. We ate at a local Japanese restaurant which had some really great food to offer. We were eating and drinking for most of the night. After eating at the restaurant, they wanted to change venues to a local art gallery where we can continue drinking. Most of the night was spent trying to create an English name for the two Korean men that were with us. So we spent the night laughing and talking about potential names for both of them. Eventually we all came to the agreement of Kevin and Louis. In turn, we asked them for Korean names. After some thought and more laughing and talking, I was named chiho, loosely translated as "drunken tiger". I instantly fell in love with the name. The whole night everyone kept referring to me as Chiho and we would all laugh about it. We were out until about 2am laughing and drinking with the two gentlemen. The best part of the whole situation was the Korean men were actively making jokes in English. The type of jokes that you would only expect from native speaking English people. That's what really made the night a little more fun. The fact that I was being made fun of and vice versa by Koreans.

Saturday rolls around. I was still a little bit groggy from the night before. Stan and I had an appointment with another one of his students. We were to go golfing at a local area. It had been some time since I picked up any type of golf set, so I was naturally both excited and nervous. We didn't have time to go to the golf range before the game so I had to play with borrowed clubs and extremely rust in my golf joints. We get to the field and I naturally don't want to go first. I wait a little to swing the club. I don't know what came over me. I think I was channeling Tiger Woods. I picked up the driver. I set the form. I bring back the club and swing away. All I heard was a beautiful *TING* and saw my ball go straight and onto the green. And if you believe that really happened then I feel bad for you. What really happened was I took a swing and the ball went to the extreme left only to be saved by the net. I laughed it off, but really wanted to throw my clubs in anger. The rest of the game basically had the same tone. I spent more time in the rough then the gardeners. It was all in good fun though, I was able to pick up the clubs again. I didn't realize how much I missed being on the field playing golf. After golf was done, we all went out to lunch. We talked about the game and pretty much anything and everything. We all eventually part ways. Stan and I were so tired that taking a nap was in order. After a quick nap, a couple of friends called us to go out. So we go out to the local shopping area to meet up. We walked around tried to do some shopping and what not. Eventually ran into another set of people and some of them joined us in our night of fun. We went to a local watering hole for foreigners and then to what Koreans call a night club. We were out until about 3am.

Sunday was a little uneventful. Stan went out for more golfing fun, I had to try to find something to buy. So some of the people from the night before met up with me and we went searching for my items. During our search, we sat and ate at a local Filipino food restaurant. I introduced them to what was being served and what not. At the end of the time in the area, I didn't find what I was looking for. So I headed off to church then after church I went home like usual.


___

The End


You won't have it when you want it, but you will have it when you need it.

-Cezar-

swing away

Just a bit lazy

July has been a roller coaster for me. I feel bad hat I haven't had a chance to really set myself up in the blogs like in the past months. I have been on such an emotional and physical roller coaster. I understand that this is a blog and I should treat this as a diary of sorts. There in lays the problem. I can not get to this thing as much as I want too. This blog will be more about how I feel about things. So bear with me, I need to get things off my chest. If you feel that you do not need to read more then stop here and wait for my next blog, when ever that may be.

Picking up the pieces:

I have noticed in my life that I omit a certain aura. People are generally attracted to me because of who I am and how I present myself. They stick around because I create a comfortable environment. That is all well and good. The more friends the better. The problem that I see and feel with that is I don't get the girl. The problem with being everyone's friend is that I get to be everyone's friend. In my opinion that really sucks, I get to be benched by the girls that I am attracted too. It's like hey your cute and funny and awesome but I don't want to date you EVER. This is an issue that I have been struggling with for a very long time. I have been raised in a certain way to treat people, especially women, in a certain way. No one told me that road leads me to not having someone special. Many people tell me to wait. Wait for the right girl and she will find you. I am seriously done with waiting. I have grown tired of waiting for the girl to date all the jerks and finally find out that I am the guy for her. This is not like the movies where the good guy gets the girl. I am constantly the nice guy that gets put on the sideline. Then I really want to change who I am into the guy that women are attracted too. Then again I cannot untrain 26 years of how to treat a woman. Ok. I'm done with that line of thought. The reason why I went with that thought was recently I was attracted to a woman. I thought she was attracted to me. I have gathered enough evidence and by now I have a good sense when it happens, she sees me as a good friend.


___


The End


Your heart will lead you to the right place and the right time.



-Cezar-

Just a bit lazy

getting dirty

OK. I'm back with stories and what not. I think I have re-energized myself enough to try to get back on the horse with my writing. The time away felt wrong. I enjoyed the time off from writing, but writing provides me with a much needed outlet. I am not going to bother you with the particulars of the past week; I'll just fill you in about the weekend.

Friday:

Normal Friday. I get out of school and jump right into my place. My friends were going to wait for me. We planned to go to mud festival together so I had to rush to their town. We all eventually get together at the town and mosey to the festival. The trip looked to be about 1 and a half hours long, so good company was needed. Road trips are always interesting. We had some good conversation and some really bad music. The driver was a Korean friend of ours. It was suggested to him to download a couple songs from the mid to late 80's and the 90's. He wasn't given instructions to download the good music. He was lucky enough to catch a couple good songs, but in the majority not that good. We all made fun of him during the trip.

We eventually get to the town that we needed to be in for mud fest. And in true hasher style, there was a trail set to lead us to the pension itself. We knew the name of the place, so we ended up just asking around where it was. We stopped by many people who gave us the worst directions ever. Basically they told us to go in circles. We eventually find the place by luck. We get into the rooms at about 11ish. The rooms were empty, the other hashers decided to go to the beach and start drinking. In an effort to join them we walk to the beach to try to find them, after about an hour of walking up and down a very long beach we found no one. We call them only to find out that they went back to the pension to finish drinking. So we end up going back to the pension, and find that they decided to party in the room I was sleeping in. We sat down started drinking and talking and having our fun. They didn't leave or stop partying until about 4am.

Saturday:
Now this is where my curse of beiong able to sleep late and wake up early comes in. I wake up at 6am. I sit up and just try to figure out what to do. I figured out nothing. I showed up and started to walk around town alone so this way I can kill some time. Around 8ish I run into another hasher by the name of G.I. Hoe, thats not his real name but I don't really even know his real name. So he and I decide to start exploring and what not. We end up back at the pension around 11am-ish. People started moving around at that time. We join a couple of people in getting breakfast. After breakfast, we go to the mud fest.

Mud fest is eactly what it sounds like. People get together and play in the mud. There were stations for self painting and what not. We were in a big group when we started out but we all get separated in the crowd. G.I. Hoe and I end up walking around together agian. Now let me explain how this all works. There are different types of pits in the area. One pit, I call the pit of war, basically a large group of people mud wrestling each other. Another pit, I call the kiddy pool, where it isn't threating at all. You go into the pool of mud and just roll around to get a nice coating of mud. There are several other stations at are game like. So I dipped into the kiddy pool. I walk around get some other muds put on me and what not. Eventually we meet up with some people. Then the fun really began. I had some stuff in my pocket that I did not want to get ruined by the mud. So I asked someone to look after it while I get into the pit of war. Me and a couple of the hashers get into the pit. Mayhem instantly insues. There is an outter ring in the mud for people to take a break or a breather and the inner ring where people get tossed around. I instantly get into the meat of the ring. I start getting tossed around and what not. People tripping me or lounging at me, and I do the same. The best part was; after you take someone down we have a laugh give a handshake and proceed to try to take other people down.

I am some where in the middle of this crowd of mayhem. If you look at the bottom right of the picture you can see an example of the type of fun people have in the pit.

That's me after G.I. Hoe decided to give me a nice swift leg sweep.
That's me again trying to take a breather in the outer ring.

We all played in the mud until about 3ish. The hash started at 4pm so we wanted to get ready for it. I end up taking a shower at my place and yeah. There was mud everywhere. We all meet up outside of the pension and wait for the trail to be set. I am not going to bore you with the details of the trail. Basically we ran up and down a mountain full of thorns and other dangerous plant life.

Most of the town from one point on the trail.

I eventually finish the trail with my friends. We have BBQ and beers. Then after that we hold the hash circle and talk about the events of the trail and what not. We sing songs and have fun at the night. I ended up leaving the group at the end of the circle. Some friends from another town were in the fest too. I met up with them for a different type of fun. The hashers party hard, I wanted a more toned down personal hangout session with good people. We hung out for a while and had many many laughs. I end the night with them at 1am. I truly had fun with the Iksanians. They are a good group of kids with my type of humor and personality. I miss all of them when I am not hanging out with them. So, I get back to my room. I find all hashers semi alseep. I get to my spot on the floor and proceed to wake everyone with the noise I make. We all proceed to talk and make jokes and for some reason start singing the Oscar mayer bologna song together. We do that for a while until about 2 am.

Sunday:
Nothing to tell here. It started to monsoon in the area. The rain was really bad. Ironically no one wants to play in the mud while its raining. Three of my friends who decided to camp out on the beach for the weekend got rained out. Their tents actually got destroyed in the rain and wind. They ended up coming to the the pension for a shower and to try to find some clean dry clothes they can borrow. We all chip in some clothes. No one wanted to go play in the mud in the rain so we grab breakfast then head home. I eventually get home at 4pm to try to rest. I had no engergy for anything, but i had to do my laundry and what not. I couldn't cook so I bought food.


___

The End


To have fun, sometimes you have to pretend to be a kid.


-Cezar-

getting dirty

sorry

Sorry all. I think I may have to take a little bit of a time out with this whole blogging thing. I have hit a little bit of a rut as far as my creative juices go. I have really come to a screeching halt with my writing. That makes me sad, but I have a refreshing weekend coming up with my friends and hopefully it will re-energize me to come back.



___


the end



Take a moment. Take a step back. Take a breath.


-Cezar-

sorry

so little time

OK. I know I have been missing for the past couple of days. I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't. I have been so tired and burned out the past couple of days. Lately I have been burning the candle at both ends and I think its starting to meet in the middle. I have just been going to one event to another.

Last week:

Here is how last week worked out for me. It was nothing special, a regular week with nothing spectacular. I was really just looking forward to the weekend with my good friends. So the days kinda crawled by.

The weekend.

Friday was interesting. I came into Jeonju around 8:30ish and got to my friend's place by 8:45. He had a guest over, so we all ate dinner and had some good conversation. Later that night we went over to another friends place to help set up for the night after. There was a charity event that my friends were hosting and I was asked to help out as much as possible. So we went over our friend's house and we were supposed to start preparing, but we didn't. We ended up just sitting around drinking and talking and laughing most to all of the night.

Saturday:

I had been informed that there was a filipino store in Jeonju. I was given instructions on how to get there and what not by two of my friends. I got to the general area and got lost for about 30 min. I eventually find my way back to the starting point and stumble onto the area I really needed to be in. I find the filipino place and it was great. I came in and introduced myself to the owner and she fed me some good filipino food. As I ate I saw that she was holding onto a lot of filipino food. So not only did I find an awesome place to eat at, but also a place where I can buy my filipino groceries. The only issue is that the place is small and what not. So I did more shopping in the area, and went back to Stan's place to help prepare. All I needed to do for that day was to chop up som fruits and call it a day. It took me a couple of hours to actually cut the fruits up. I started around 1:30ish and finished around 5ish. The event started at 7, so I had some time to rest up. 7 rolls around kind of faster then I expected. Stan and I jump into a taxi with the rest of the food and what not and head to the event. I was told to man the bar. First of all thats not a good idea at all. So I started maning the bar. Taking tickets and serving drinks. People start to pile up and want to eat and drink. I joined them in the drinking part only. The night went off very well. There were a few minor situations, but nothing that we could not handle. People generally had fun and a good time. I had an opportunity to talk and have good conversations with people coming up to the bar. So much so that people started buying me drinks. I really appreciated that. The event ended around 11ish. I was ready to hit the town. My friends were there and wanted to blow off some steam from the night. We went out to a local bar and started drinking more. We all ended up leaving some time after to go to a club. We all started to do more debouchery there too. My night ended at the club at 4 am. I headed back to Stan's place so that I can crash on the couch. I end up sleeping around 5 am.

sunday.

I wake up promptly at 8am. The first thing I said to myself was greeeaaaat. I didn't have a hangover. I just wanted to sleep more, but my body is a wierd thing. Stan eventually wakes up around 10ish. We have a little bit of a re-count of the night and have some good laughs. We head out to meet hammer and highly strung at a local coffee shop. They stay for a while, but end up leaving early. Stan and I stay to talk to the owner and have a good laugh. As we left the shop we go to his scooter. We went to where it was parked and it was gone. Someone had stolen the scooter while we were relaxing. Let's just say that Stan was more then livid. I didn't even know that Korea had a crime problem. I had gotten used to the area so much that I had my gaurd down. Now, it's back up. I really felt bad for Stan. He had given and sacrificed so much for the charity event the night before and this happens to him. I was at a loss for words. All I could do was try to comfort him. I eventually depart his company. I get back home in time to greet my father a happy birthday. Now my father and I usually are not on the same page or note. That doesn't mean that I don't love him more then anything else. I had written him a birthday greeting on a family website and I want to share that with you today.

hey dad,

I just wanted to drop a line and wish you a happy birthday. I know its different feeling me sending my wishes to you from half way around the world. I also wanted to tell you that I miss you from the bottom of my heart. You have always been there for me as a rock. Even though you and I bump heads more then one occasion, you always have the best interests for me. I have and will always admire your strength and character. I can only hope that when I grow up I can be at least half the man you are. I don't always have a chance to say this, but I do look up to you. When ever I am in a situation, your voice is always there to guide me. I have found on several occasions that your words come out of my mouth when I give advice. Through it all dad; the good and the bad; you will always be my guiding light. You will always serve as my beacon for what type of man I should be. I appreciate everything you have done and will do in my life. Happy birthday dad, and with all the sincerity in my heart, I love you very much.



___

The End


Strength of character is tested in the fire of life.


-Cezar-

so little time