Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanks?

So today is thanksgiving. It has been a while since I have actually appreciated things enough to be thankful for them. I am though. I am thankful for all the big and small things in my life.

I have been thinking about what my friends say to me all the time. They tell me that I have a lot of strength for staying in such an isolated area. I think that anyone could do the same. At some point in everyone's life they feel alone or lonely. I know my case is in the extreme, but is it that too hard to imagine being where I am. I understand it takes a certain type to deal with being alone, but it's also not too difficult. One would be able to first cope with it; then after manage it. The hardest part I think is finding motivation. I find it hard to dig deep now a days to do the simple things. My book is again fallen to the side because I lack focus and strength to pick it up. My supposed studies of Korean or even reading one of my several books has put aside. I keep trying to dig deep, but I find nothing.

On a happier note. I will be finished with work soon and vacation is around the corner. After vacation, I will work for a short time then wait to go home.


____


The End


We learn more in loss than in victory.


-Cezar-
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

We must endure

I have been writing one of my books for the past couple of days. I have really picked up where I left off from a couple months ago, but it seems like I have hit a little bit of writers block. So I decided to do some free writing here to start the cogs again and maybe stumble onto where the story should go.

I have been dealing with a couple different things the past weeks. One of my closest friends here in South Korea is leaving to go back home. He is one of the bigger reasons why I stayed in Korea. Now that he is leaving; I feel at a loss. I know that it will not be the last time I will be seeing my good friend, yet I am sad to see him leave. We shared many good laughs and some good times together. His departure makes me long for my own. I keep on thinking about when I get to go home. I keep on picturing my family and friends being there. Being away for so long has really taught me the value of being home.

There are so many things that I tend to take for granted when I was home. I think I will have a new appreciation when I get back. On the other side of the coin; I will really miss the freedom I have here. Seriously, the things that I get away with and have done here in South Korea is refreshing. The societal norms here let me have a type of freedom that I was not afforded back in America. I feel that I am more bound by society back in America, and in South Korea I am able to do what I please (to a certain extent).

Anyways; back to my book. As far as a writer goes, I don't think I am one. I was talking to a good friend of mine and she suggested that I am more of a story teller, it seemed to fit what I had in mind. It also seems to be the case with my book, as I write them it seems more like I am speaking then writing. I will finish the book soon and see what happens.

I actually had forgotten that I had started writing the story on paper. I pulled up the document on my computer and found it to be shorter than what I had remembered. I also realized that I lost the particular book in which I kept all my notes. So I literally had to back track on all my characters and stories. Where I am supposed to be at page 9 or so; I am now only on page 5. It has proven very frustrating having to try to recreate the story and characters. I am making progress but it's slow and difficult. I set a high goal of getting to page 20 by the end of the week, but it seems like I will only be able to get to page 10. The story itself is taking on a new life and path then what I had anticipated.

I also wanted to share a piece that I recently wrote. As most of you know I have been active with hiking and what not. They made me an officer for the group and put me in charge of doing some write ups. This was one of my most recent ones. I was actually surprised on how it came out. I think it is one of my better write ups.

A naming and a goodbye
It seems to me when a group of people congregate there is a high chance of bonding. That is what the house harriers is all about; we try to create a sense of connection with other people. When you are in a place where you have no one else but each other; joining a group like ours is easy to do. The hashers hold a long line of tradition near its heart and it welcomes you to join into it. We had a typical run last weekend. A few virgins joined the group and an old friend left it.
The trail was simple; it was an A to B this time. We decided to keep it light and short because of time restrictions. I proceeded to start all the festivities around 4:30ish; so that we don’t lose trail in the dark. It was all medium hills with no real obstacles in our way to finding the beer. The FRBs (front running bastards) helped make trail easier to follow with laying more chalk lines. The trail lasted about an hour, walking.
We ended at a local restaurant. We ate and drank for a couple of minutes and started the ceremonies. The virgins were put through their paces and I was not disappointed. They were more than willing to bear themselves to us and the world. It does me very well when I see virgins willing to disgrace themselves to entertain the pack.
We sang song and went through ceremonies. We said goodbye to a fellow hasher. He has been a big part of the hash both in Seoul and in Jeonju. His name was Dirty. He was the epitome of a hasher. He had one of the biggest hearts and kindest personalities that I knew. His presence was always welcome and enjoyed by all; truly a hasher through and through. On a more personal note, I will miss him very much. He was a great man and a fantastic hasher.
Once we dispatched with those pleasantries, we went onto a naming. NN Nancy had been hashing with us a couple of times. She hashed enough to earn her name in Jeonju. We had given her a questionnaire to help us in her naming. After much talking and reviewing and storytelling, we came upon a name only befitting a fellow hasher. NN Nancy was baptized under some beer; when she emerged she was to be known as Back Alley Cabby (BAC). She was welcomed into the fold. We finished with that and moved to close the hash. We continued to drink and eat into the night.
That was our trail and my tail of it. We shed a tear for the hasher that left but in rejoice for the new hashers gained and for the newly named. For our fellow brother and sister hashers; the trail will never end. The trail will always find a way to bring us together. It is our way of bonding and our way to form a brotherhood. So if you have time; come find us on trail and join us in song and drink. You will enjoy yourself.



___


The End


Have faith.


-Cezar-
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

end game

So yeah. I have been away from this blog for a while and I have missed it. It seems, even though I have nothing where I am; that I have no time for anything. I have been so consumed with trying to do some work for school and looking forward to the weekends that I have no time to really do anything. I have made some real connections with some new people in Buan. I have eaten with them several times already and they seem to be good people. Last Sunday I was passing through Buan I sent a text message to them and they invited me to have brunch with them.

I have decided to try to make this a column that you would read in a newspaper. So I will try to write in this at least twice a week. I would like suggestions on what to write about.


___


The End


The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line.


-Cezar-
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Monday, November 9, 2009

Parents

On a side note. It was my parents anniversary yesterday. I called them last night to wish them happy anniversary. I just wanted to wish them a happy anniversary again. I love you both so very much. Words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation for all of your sacrifice and work you have done for me over the years. I couldn't of asked for better parents. I know we have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day I will always love you guys with all of my heart.
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And the survey says

Okay. I know it has been a couple of days since I have last updated. So here I go.


Nothing really new has been happening. Hashing is hashing. Trails have been getting better and more interesting. Weekends have been going fast and weekdays even faster. I am counting the days until I am done with work and I go to the Philippines for vacation. Then I am counting the days until I go home. Until then I will be just going around doing the same thing everyday.

As far as new things going on. New friends in Buan have been more then accommodating to me. They have come to my town and broke bread with me. I have gone to their town and done the same. I will be going up there again this week for dinner.

I haven't made any head way with any one of my books. I don't know if its writer's block lack of motivations, it may be both.


That is it for now.


___


The End


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. -Forrest Gump


-Cezar-
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